Losing a baby or a child is one of the scariest and saddest experiences in life. Heartbreak remains for months and years. And yet, many moms suffer in silence because loss is a hard subject to talk about. Our society doesn’t talk about this enough. Miscarriage is a traumatic loss, not only of the pregnancy but of a woman's sense of self and her hopes and dreams of the future. She has lost the dream of how she wanted her ‘reproductive story,' to unfold. Deep grief follows. Clinical research is consistent. This is not a small issue. 40% of women who suffer a miscarriage struggle with post-traumatic stress. Other studies show that feelings of depression and/or anxiety can last for up to three or more years after the loss of a baby. Family and friends are in a strategic position to be able to make a huge difference in how a mom experiences Mother’s Day after a loss. Mom's and Dad's can be a great source of comfort to their adult children. Their grief doesn’t need a solution. It simply needs to be noticed and validated by a Mom and Dad's compassion. When it comes to topics like miscarriage, stillbirth, the loss of a baby or child, most of us find ourselves uncomfortable, tongue-tied, and confused about what to say. It’s the perfect set up for awkwardly jumping in, and talking about something that does more damage than good. What do you say to your daughter or daughter in law on Mother's Day after her loss? Is it better to steer attention away from her anguish or to mention her baby? The last thing you want to do is say the wrong thing and ruin her day. So, what’s the best approach? Every baby or child that dies, leaves behind at least 5 grieving loved ones - the parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. Mother's Day is filled with an overwhelming flood of grief after a the loss of a baby or child. Intense emotions can make it feel like her loss happened just yesterday. Pam Vredevelt, Professional Counselor and Grief Expert, and her daughter, Jessie Vredevelt Schultz, Transformation Coach say that words are powerful, and they offer a series of seven unique videos detailing what family, friends, and community leaders can say to support moms on Mother's Day who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, pregnancy loss, death of their baby or child. In Video One of the Series, Words a Mom and Dad can say on Mother's Day After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of a Baby or Child, Pam and Jessie cover the Do's and Dont's of what to say to avoid awkward conversations and promote healing. They suggest sample messages to use. Tip sheets ,card ideas, sample phrases, and gift printables accompany each of the 7 Mother's Day Videos. Just a few minutes of your time and thoughtfulness can make a huge difference in how your partner in life experiences her Mother's Day this year.
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